Stand Up Comedy
White women make me real nervous. Like at night when they’re by themselves walking towards me. And she can be nervous too, I’m a big dude. She might think “Oh Jesus, there’s a big black guy towards me …”. And I’m thinking : “Oh Jesus, I hope nobody kills this white women, cause I’m gonna get blamed for it.”
That’s why I do a lot of stuff to protect me. I keep my receipts. I collect receipts. Cause that’s a track where you’ve been. Everywhere I go, I get a receipt, and I never go more than half hour without buying something cause you can kill somebody in half hour.
You need an alibi, you know. So, every fifteen minutes I buy something … a stick of gum …”Can I get a receipt for that, please ?”
- “We don’t have receipts for gum, my friend”
- “Well, you gonna have to write me one or something…I've got to have a receipt”
- “I already tell you, we don’t have receipts”.
- “We don’t have receipts for gum, my friend”
- “Well, you gonna have to write me one or something…I've got to have a receipt”
- “I already tell you, we don’t have receipts”.
And if it’s like that, I just argue with him. So he remembers me, you know what I mean ?
- “Gimme my receipt pussy”
- “What ? What ? Kiss my ass !”
- “Yeah, yeah. Kiss my ass too. What time is it ?“
- “Five fifteen !”
- “All right, I’m good”
And that’s way I don’t throw garbage in the street. It’s not because I care about the earth, but I’m afraid I’ll be walking in the park, drinking a soda, and when I’m done throw it over my shoulder, fly over the bush and land on some dead white women head with my fingerprints on the can. Now I’m the Pepsi- Cola rapist because I’m lazy.
Patrice O’Neal
1:39 AMFabuloso e com uma actualidade impressionante
5:50 AM
Foi ja muitos anos passados!Um prêto começou a corrêr numa rua em Luanda;nisto uma branca começou aos gritos! A policia matou o prêto.Otawa a semana passada,um branco deixou-se adormeçêr a mêsa num fast-food.Entrou uma mulher policia,sem razâo aparente,déram uma tareia,éla e um coléga,que desfiguraram o homem!Tudo filmado por uma camara do restaurant..o homem éra branco! Nâo é a cor da péle!Mas sim a impresâo de poder que da uma farda....os politicos sabem d'isso!É éssa a razâo porque sâo cobardes
8:40 AM
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